I'm Kelly Ann Snyder. Welcome to Living Perfectly Loved, the podcast created to encourage, equip, and inspire you to live free from fear and full of joy, secure in God's perfect love. If you're longing to stand firm in Christ amidst the storms of life with a faith deeply rooted in God's perfect love, stop anxiety and fear from stealing your joy and controlling your life, shine brightly and love fearlessly, confident in who God uniquely created and called you to be, then this faith-inspiring podcast, full of practical help and spiritual tools, is for you. You're listening to Season One, Episode Three: Uncover Emotional Triggers by Excavating Your Past, brought to you by Living Perfectly Loved Ministries and my new book, Living Perfectly Loved: A Christian's 12-Step Journey to Freedom from the Grip of Anxiety and Fear. For all recommended resources, products, and freebies discussed in this episode, please see the notes for this episode. I'm happy to announce that in each episode this season, I will be sharing an excerpt from my book containing each of the 12 steps the Lord used to deliver me from the grip of anxiety and fear. In this way, you'll be getting a sneak peek into my book, Living Perfectly Loved. I'm so glad you've decided to join me. Subscribe to my email list today@kellyandsnyder.com and you will be kept in the loop with all book and ministry-related announcements I make, and be eligible to receive all free resources I create and share with my subscribers. Visit my website at kellyandsnyder.com to learn more about Living Perfectly Loved Ministries, including direct links to purchase my book and information that can help you take the next step forward in your faith journey. If you haven't yet listened to my podcast trailer, I'd like to invite you to do so after listening to this episode. All right, let's get started! The following is an excerpt from Step Two of my book, Living Perfectly Loved, titled: Uncover Emotional Triggers by Excavating Your Past. I had a light bulb moment at the beginning of my quest for the root cause of my struggle with anxiety and fear."Would anyone like to close this in prayer?" Every week my small group Bible study leader asked this question, and every week I dreaded it. Her requests always made me feel so uncomfortable, as if I was on the spot. All of us in the group squirmed in our seats, wondering who would be the one to volunteer on our behalf. One week, I remember sitting in silence, waiting for someone else to agree to pray, when I heard a gentle voice within me say, speak up and pray for everyone. Say you'll do it. It was the Holy Spirit urging me to volunteer to pray. Suddenly my heart began racing, my palms got all sweaty, and I could feel my cheeks burning. Not only did I feel my normal insecurity about praying publicly, but now conviction was burdening my heart too. Still, I didn't open my mouth. I sat there stubbornly holding my breath, deliberately trying to avoid direct eye contact with anyone in the room. What if I fumbled over my words, or worse, forgot to pray over someone's personal prayer request? After a long minute, a voice across for me interrupted my stream of thought."I'll pray." Whew, I was off the hook! Or so I thought. The wave of temporary relief I felt quickly came crashing down into a sea of deep conviction. The uncomfortable silence had passed. True. But I had failed to obey God's voice. I had missed an opportunity to allow God to speak through me and to bless my group, all because of my fear. If you've ever participated in a church small group before, chances are you're familiar with this above scenario. Just to be clear, the conflict I felt was not because my leader was putting us on the spot to pray. The issue was my struggle with fear. All I needed was to stop being so concerned about what others thought of my ability to pray, quiet my soul, and simply speak to God. Instead I gave into fear. I stayed silent. This was exactly what the enemy wanted. This scenario repeated itself almost weekly. Every time my small group met, it felt like too much. And my fear of publicly praying was just one of many fears that I dealt with regularly. I realized it was time to stop the fear cycle and get to the bottom of what was triggering all my anxiety and fear. Identifying small group prayers as an anxiety trigger was a jumping off point. One of the first times I realized fear was controlling my life. It was also distinct, making it one of the easier triggers to begin unpacking. In excavating your past, it will take time to dig down deep and find the source of your pain. You will have to find a place to start digging, like I did, commit to the process of gaining wisdom, and make an investment of time and energy. If you're like me. You will sometimes feel the process is taking longer than it should. You may dig down deep into your past, as far as you think you can possibly go, only to sense God saying, keep digging. You're not there yet. The truth is, God has been with you during every moment of your life and He knows what experiences are still causing hurt in your heart. As children and adults, we often bury our pain, whether intentionally or unintentionally, vowing never to let it see the light of day. It may have happened so long ago that you have completely forgotten what you hid in the first place. Maybe you don't know what is now causing such emotional distress. You only see the precarious emotional reactions, anxiety or other, that certain circumstances now provoke. Rest assured, your exaggerated, emotional reactions are not crazy. Your quote, unquote crazy has a place of origin. It's been trying to stay hidden. It does not want to be found out. You see, the enemy of your soul, the devil, is doing all he can to confuse, shame, and distract you from seeing the truth. He wants to keep you from getting to the root of your pain, because he knows that once uncovered, that suffocating weed can be cut out of your life and it will be unable to continue tormenting you. God knows exactly where the root of your fear is hiding out, even if you don't yet. As you draw near to God and ask for His wisdom, He will reveal the hidden things to you. See Matthew 10, verse 26. Allowing you to walk in a level of freedom and closeness with Him you have only dreamed about. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 4, verse 13,"Nothing in creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Whether you're dealing with anxiety, fear, depression, anger, shame, unforgiveness, or any other deeply rooted issue, the Lord will point you in the right direction and show you where to start digging."This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it--the Lord is his name:'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" Jeremiah 33, verses two through three. King Solomon, the richest and wisest king who ever lived, recognized that wisdom was worth far more than riches. One night, the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream and said, Ask for whatever you want me to give you," fFirst Kings three, verse five. Of all the things Solomon could have asked for, he asked the Lord for a discerning heart. We, too, can ask God for this. In James one, verse five, the Bible says,"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." The Lord gives wisdom to all who ask Him for it, but this wisdom does not always come easily. Don't let this discourage you. Instead, apply yourself to the task ahead. Pray for wisdom, be patient, but persistent. Seek the Lord and follow His lead. As the Bible says, we will have to seek wisdom like one might look for buried treasure. Proverbs two, verses one through five says,"My son, if you accept my words and store at my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understandin-- indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Maybe you're thinking, why doesn't God just tell me what I need to know. Why do I have to hunt and search for the answers? The thing is, God wants to draw you closer to Himself. If He just gave you all the answers, you wouldn't need to seek Him out. When we learn to seek God first, above all else, the answers will come, and the wisdom you gained from going through this process will be well worth the time and energy it will cost you now. The Lord tells us,"The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it costs all you have, get understanding," Proverbs four, verse seven. When Solomon so wisely asked God for a discerning heart with which to serve the Lord rather than fame or fortune, God not only granted his request, but He also gave him what he did not ask for--great wealth and honor. In our pursuit for wisdom and healing, may we not lose sight of what's most important--our relationship with the Lord! Often a situation unravels so fast in the heat of the moment that we can't process it, and we don't take time later to reflect on what happened to cause the problem in the first place. We may be so busy reacting that we have scarcely stopped to ask ourselves why we are reacting at all. It's after the heat of the moment has passed that we need to stop and find out the why-- and that takes some digging. So friend, take out your shovel, bucket, trowel, and brush, this is the time to start excavating your past! As you get started uncovering emotional triggers, I suggest you keep a record of incidents in which you react strongly. Keep track of your emotional responses for a period of at least two weeks. I recommend getting a journal to record your thoughts, observations, findings, and the things you hear God speaking to you on this journey. You can also use the Emotional Triggers Log template provided for you in the back of my Living Perfectly Loved book, or download the PDF for free from my website at kellyannsnyder.com, under my book tab. For your convenience, I've also included the link to this download in my show notes under episode resources. After recording multiple incidents, look for patterns. Notice the similarities between the incidents. Going through this process will help you start pinpointing specific emotional triggers, when they happen, and why they occur. This can be a really helpful analysis of your ongoing struggle with fear, or any other emotional response. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, I know that nothing is hidden from Your sight. You see the source of my pain and You long to heal me. I acknowledged that true wisdom and understanding come from You. You are the wellspring of life. I want to understand why I have struggled so long with anxiety and fear, and why cannot seem to break free from its hold on my life. Lord, I ask you to reveal the places of wounding from my past and bring me wholeness and healing. Lead me in Your truth and guide me in the process. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. Thanks for listening to this episode of the Living Perfectly Loved podcast. While it's true that God is love and we are perfectly loved by Him, we all struggle at times to live like this true. While we should strive to grow in Christ likeness, we can rest in knowing God loves us because of who He is, not because of who we are or anything we could ever do for Him. In Jesus Christ, we are enough! Remember, you don't have to be perfect to live perfectly loved. You have always been and will always be a completely forgiven, fully accepted, deeply loved, daughter the King. Beautiful friend, His grace is for you. Please subscribe to my podcast now and stay tuned for another episode of Living Perfectly Loved. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He shine His face on you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face toward you and give you peace, in Jesus' name.